Journey as a Mother of Boys
By: Khadija Prince
It’s like stepping into uncharted territory. A new land, that I may not fully understand. But stepping fully into this space equipped with unconditional love, resilience, stamina, mothering instincts, and the desire to embrace the journey fully. This is my feeling of being a mom of boys.
As a mother of boys I sometimes wonder if I will be able to relate to my boys in the right way. Will my lessons or examples resonate with them in the future? Will they just feel like I don’t understand because I’m not male? Possibly, but I can continue to share with them that some skills are life skills and not gender specific, plus I can put forth more effort into understanding the male perspective. Aha! Yes, I said it! I will be the first to admit, I was not as interested in understanding the male perspective before having boys. Terrible I know. Hello, any other ladies out there can relate? I had to decide to put a little more effort in observing and understanding the men around me. It couldn’t hurt, right? (just jokes )
As a woman who loves being a women, supports women, mentored girls, and is pro female everything lol, my brand Sonday is not about excluding girls.
It’s about celebrating the love of your child. As a mom of boys, I naturally decided to create a brand for boys. Plus, I feel that one of the greatest things us mom of boys can do is raise, happy, healthy, strong men! Men who love and respect women, and most importantly love and respect themselves.
One of the greatest ways of supporting and celebrating women, it to raise young men that will make us all proud! Men that will know that standing alongside a woman is way more powerful than the outdated perception of standing in front of one.
I have come to realize that our boys need to be allowed to behave like boys. This is not code for misconduct or lack of responsibility. I mean energetic, loud, daring, and silly. I enjoy seeing the biological differences between boys’ and girls’ behavior, learning styles, and interests because it a necessary reminder that we need both. Our very creation and exitance requires both.
When my boys were younger I was always afraid and jumpy because they were running full speed and flipping off of everything (and still do). I was constantly yelling no and stop (still do, but a lot less), until I just created an environment that they would be less likely to get seriously hurt in. It didn’t make the fear magically go away, but I was able to breathe a little deeper and just let it go! The embrace of the boy mom spirt at its finest!
These boys are my babies, my little humans, and I will adjust and learn to parent them in the way they need it, not force them into my feminine view. And yet, I can I educate them to understand and respect my feminine view and experiences. I truly feel blessed to have this opportunity to raise boys to men who will be conscious of historical unbalanced(ness), the oppression of women, and misogyny, and be a part of a new generation of men that put an end to it. They will understand that to be masculine is not to put anyone down, but to fully embrace a balanced world and lead with integrity and compassion.
I am raising my sons to play sports and meditate, to cook and clean, to learn to fist fight and martial arts, to speak multiple languages, while understanding the history of code-switching, to lead with awareness, and to listen for understanding. I am raising them to love their history, lineages, and prepare for their future.
They will know that their bank account does not determine their worth, yet they will know how to own a business, have work ethic, and manage their resources.
They will know that their body is sacred too, and they should choose wisely who they are intimate with as men.
They will have the tools to effectively communicate and value relationships.
They will know spirituality and know that they are spirt. They will trust their intuition and know that they have a direct connection to the divine.
So, as a mom of boys, I understand my charge, my purpose, and am raising men who will love and respect me and in turn love and respect women. (No, this is not a condition, just an increase in likelihood). I am also blessed to have a husband who expresses and models his love and respect for me, so they see the behavior that expresses love and respect for women from the position of a man as well.
And not to mention, while on this journey, I have become immune to little butts running around in undies, farts and giggles galore, and stepping on Legos… and am thankful for the sweetest cuddles I could have ever prayed for.
So, boy moms, take a breath, take your vitamins and minerals, and join a boy mom club! (Lord help us!) We’ve got this!